Why sharing gender pronouns matters
Including gender pronouns (e.g. he/she/they) is a basic way to respect a person’s gender identity. For most, their visible gender identity is taken for granted. Not everybody has this privilege; when someone is referred to with a pronoun that doesn’t align with their gender identity, it can make them feel alienated. At Queen Mary Students' Union we want to help to normalise the use of pronouns as part of introducing yourself to others.
Ideas of how to help
When using pronouns, you can be more inclusive by:
- Introducing yourself with your own pronouns (“Hi, I’m Jack, my pronouns are he/him”) – this is important even if you think your pronouns are obvious, as it helps to create an environment where talking about pronouns is normal and comfortable for everyone
- Asking people their pronouns when you meet them (“My pronouns are he/him, what are yours?” or “What pronouns would you like me to use?”) – it’s important not to assume people’s pronouns if you don’t know, as assuming based on appearances relies on stereotypes around gender expression. Asking may also make others feel more comfortable to share their pronouns and again normalises discussing pronouns.
- Making a conscious effort to remember people’s pronouns and use them correctly – if you keep forgetting, make sure that you practice!
- Apologising and correcting yourself if you get it wrong (“She said th- oh, I’m sorry, they said”) – but it’s also important not to make the apology all about yourself (“Oh my gosh I feel absolutely terrible I’m so sorry I’m such an awful person”). Apologise and move the conversation on.
- Using gender-neutral pronouns such as they/them if talking about a person whose pronouns you don’t know (“I’m not sure who they are, but I have a meeting planned with them next week”)
- Wearing a pronoun badge on your lanyard (you can get these from the Students’ Union receptions) and including your pronouns in your email signature and social media profiles
The most important thing with all of this is to treat everyone with respect and refer to them how they want to be referred to. A small effort can go a long way to making people feel welcome and respected!
Email signatures
We encourage our staff to introduce their pronouns in their email signatures, where possible.
Celebrations
This year we also celebrated International Pronouns day with an article from our elected officers, read it here.
More information
To learn more about pronouns take a look at MyPronouns.org for more information